Ladies and gentlemen, I am your host, a dedicated journalist, and you are tuned in to Prime Time. It can be disheartening when we emphasize the importance of watching the news on TV, yet it often seems our message goes unheard. Personally, I seldom watch my own programs unless I've had a satisfying meal. Were it not for my professional commitments, I might have left this role long ago.
Tonight, I bring you a captivating piece of news that won't harm India's reputation. Recently, there has been a recurring topic on social media—Irony's apparent suicide. However, the reasons behind Irony's tragic end are quite unexpected, involving incidents like a journalist caught on the Radia tape, expounding on honesty, Lalu Ji discussing government losses due to scams, and messages of peace from Jihadi Muslims.
Let me clarify that the dimly lit video isn't due to technical issues; it's a deliberate strategy my producer and I have adopted to boost our TRP ratings.
I've set out to uncover the mystery behind Irony's death, accompanied by my cameraman. We've embarked on this journey with the Cutting Chai News team.
While traversing the bustling streets of our city, I witnessed a solemn scene—an individual being carried out of a residence. I couldn't help but wonder if this was Irony's body. Hastening to the spot, I extended my microphone towards a grieving person, inquiring about the identity of the deceased and their feelings regarding the loss. The elderly individual before me, with a heavy heart, revealed, "This is my only son, Captain Pawan Kumar. He was martyred in a terrorist encounter in Kashmir yesterday. I am immensely proud of my son's sacrifice for our nation."
My hopes of TRP from Captain Pawan Kumar's story waned. Disheartened, I pressed on in search of the sensational Irony story. After covering approximately 400 meters, I came upon another lifeless body, surrounded by sobbing children and a grieving woman. As I began to question them, I discovered that the deceased was a dedicated social worker who had been brutally attacked the day before. His offense? Exposing a local bomb-making gang that supplied explosives and weapons to political leaders during elections.
This story, too, did not promise an uptick in TRP. The time had come to prepare for my nightly broadcast, or as I like to call it, our "Prime Time." My quest had yet to yield any valuable information. Then, my mobile phone rang, and I recognized the familiar tune, "We will sell it, we will sell it, we will sell our faith, we will give the message of bringing socialism through the phone." It was my producer on the line. In response to his instructions, I promptly affirmed, "Yes, sir, I will submit the report this evening." And here it is. Just a few days ago, news of Irony's demise gained significant traction on social media. To enhance our TRP ratings, I left the comfort of our air-conditioned studio, as a dedicated journalist, to investigate. My mission was to unearth the truth, not to manufacture corrupt leaders as a sold-out journalist might.
To your amazement, we found no concrete evidence of Irony's death. The fear of government repercussions has silenced individuals on the subject. I approached various sources to glean information about Irony, but none were willing to discuss the matter. Mentioning Irony's passing seems to strike fear into people, similar to the reverence accorded to the likes of Bhagat Singh, Rajguru, and Sukhdev.
The Prime Minister remains silent on this matter. Will this not tarnish our nation's reputation? The Home Minister has yet to address the issue. Will this not bring disrepute upon our beloved country?
In a united protest against the silence surrounding the truth of Irony's death, we, a group of prominent journalists, will gather at India Gate tomorrow, arriving in our distinguished vehicles. Wearing our stylish Ray-Ban sunglasses, we will then march to Rashtrapati Bhavan. Through this demonstration, we aim to assert that Irony's death is a result of the Central Government's negligence.
This concludes today's Prime Time. I'm on the move, and I encourage you to keep progressing forward. Hello.